Sunday Reflections: Is This Real Life?

I woke up different this morning. I turned my wrists and ankles, releasing the delicious cracks from my old bones.

I slipped on my fluffy booties and made the bed with far too many pillows.

I switched on the heater in the living room.

Made black tea and a huge plate of caramelised apple and cheese from the Pyranees.

I took my vitamins, showered and sat at the table to work. It only sank in when I looked up at the clock and saw the WiFi password in unfamiliar handwriting displayed on a chalkboard above the fridge.

This is not my house.

There's a concept in woo woo circles that says you should show yourself what you want your life to look like in order to make it so. Essentially, you have to see it to believe it.

If you've never even sat in a Jeep, how can you imagine yourself driving it?

If you've never been to New York, how do you know you'll enjoy living there?

And if you've never stayed in your dream apartment, how do you know how you want to wake up every day?

This is how I want to wake up every day. And now that I am fully into my late twenties, I actually have to start thinking about these things.

Where is my place in the world?

How do I like to work?

What kind of people do I want around me?

What am I looking for and where will I find it?

The greatest gift of this trip so far is getting a little closer to answering those questions. Not just by unknowingly booking a stay in my dream apartment, but by speaking my favourite language every day, experimenting with new things, and seeing myself through the eyes of complete strangers.

The beauty of solo travel is that you can be whoever you want to be, and there's no one around to bring you back to who you were. Afraid of heights? Not me! I'm going to dance across the Avignon bridge is the gail force wind and laugh at the vertigo.

I'm not a people person? Sure I am. I am going to shake hands with security guards and muse with fellow pole dancers. I'll exchange Instagrams with young people with cool outfits who are inspired by the idea of a travelling writer. I will have long chats with artists about how they see their cities and what they believe the essence of the place to be.

On the road I am no one, and therefore anyone I imagine myself to be.

This is all a waffly unstructured way of saying, I'm having an identity crisis.

But weirdly enough, it's the best thing ever. I feel new, hopeful, unshackled. For the first time in a long time I feel like anything and everything is possible.

And yes, I'm certain I will wake up like this every day in the near future.

I guarantee it.

Ta ta for now,

Olivia

Photo below by Marni V Photography. The others are by me as usual 😉